he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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