Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
