I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
