i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
