I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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