Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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