No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
