we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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