i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
