I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do vagina's smell?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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