she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
