Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
