Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
