come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
