Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
