Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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