I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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