1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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