Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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