My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
