I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
