I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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