I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
