i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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