BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
