I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
