Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
