is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
