So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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