just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
