I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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