I just saw a hot homeless man
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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