update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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