walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
