There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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