we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize