i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
