I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
