I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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