I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
do herpes really smell.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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