I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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