Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
