smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Are we still banned from the library?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
