The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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