please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
ttyl tear gas
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
