Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
