Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
