so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize