Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
