i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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