is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize