i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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