I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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