And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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