umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
