Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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