If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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