nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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