my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
