I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
