butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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