i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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