Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
its not stalking. its research.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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