He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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