You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
