I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
