i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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