when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's shark week go big or go home
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
