Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
