it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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