Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
