i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
