Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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