I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize