it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he puts the penis in happiness.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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